How to tell your friends and family of your plans to elope
Whether you’re eloping just the two of you or inviting some friends & family but not others, it’s important to think through how you want to communicate your decision to have a wedding day that’s unique to the two of you.
You can choose to tell everyone in advance and even send out an announcement, or you can tell a select few people only or keep your plans entirely secret and announce it after. Do what feels the most empowering to the two of you that will enable you to relax and fully enjoy your day, without anyone else’s opinions or expectations. These are my best tips on how to make the news go over as smoothly as possible if you choose to share.
TIP 1: Drop Hints And Be Obvious
Dropping hints before getting engaged or announcing your elopement can ease friends and family into the idea of you eloping without you formally having to tell them yet—reducing objections
and any surprises. If there are certain people you expect will be more skeptical of the idea of an elopement, you can also ask other friends and family members to help you drop hints too.
TIP 2: Tell Them Face To Face (Or on a Video Call)
Many couples opt for telling their friends and family that they are eloping in-person because it makes it easier to explain why you are choosing an elopement and to share your genuine excitement through your expression and voice. If they don’t live close by, video chat is the closest replacement to telling them in-person.
TIP3: Share Your Reasons Why
Some friends and family members might react to your plans based upon the misconception that your elopement means excluding them— and explaining your reasoning behind why you decided to elope can help relieve those negative feelings.
A few common reasons you can share are:
• We wanted to do something incredibly meaningful to us on our wedding day
• We wanted our wedding day to be truly intimate and not performative
• We wanted to spend as much time together on our wedding day, making each other happy instead of any guests
• We wanted to say our vows in a beautiful and private place that just won’t fit a huge group
• We wanted the process of getting married to be as stress-free as possible
• We don’t want to wait to plan and pay for a big traditional wedding, and we are ready to celebrate our love sooner by eloping
• We decided to save for a house, a travel experience, or another investment instead of spending that money on a party
TIP 4: Keep Them Involved & Share As Many Details As You Can
Asking your friends and family to participate in your planning process can help them feel like they are still involved in your big day in some way while also reassuring them that they are not being excluded. Telling your friends and family about all the details of your elopement day can help them understand the time, energy, effort, and thought that you’ve put into creating your elopement ceremony—and why it’s perfect
for you and your relationship. Keeping them informed allows them to feel involved and excited since they know what you are planning.
TIP 5: Share Your Photos With Them
Some couples reveal their elopement with their friends and family by surprising them with the elopement pictures—which are the best and most tangible way to show how much fun you had on your actual elopement day. Sharing your photos can help those who weren’t present understand what your elopement was all about because they can see your joy, your happiness, and overall how incredible the day was for you and your partner.
TIP 6: Remember The Day Is For You It’s good to empathize with friends and family who may be initially disappointed in your plans— but don’t forget that your wedding day is a celebration of your love with your partner (not anybody else) and that you deserve to have the day that feels right and authentic to you
